Ahh... crap. I hate insurance.

Well, It's been too long. I can't honestly say I haven't had time. I've had plenty of time, I just didn't feel like writing. I've got a lot going on in my life, lots of changes for our little family, but for some reason, just didn't want to sit and write it all out. Firstly, the hubs got a new job, and we are in transition until we can find a place to live in Harrisonburg. Well, we found a place, but it won't be ready until July. So we are living with his Aunt and Uncle until then. He's driving an hour each way to work. TOTALLY sucks. But anyhow. It's only temporary.

Along with the new job came new insurance (so grateful to finally have it!) But this insurance.. ZERO fertility coverage. So. I have all the meds for a cycle, and absolutely no way to do it. Yes, I won't lie, I thought about doing my OWN cycle.. but I'm not stupid. There are too many risks to just start sticking myself in the stomach. I'd sell the meds - Lord knows we need the money until his paychecks start coming  in, but that's pretty much illegal.  So, our new insurance is Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield. It sucks. Someone told me it's the best, but I don't agree. they co-pays for things are higher, and the coverage is less. Care First BCBS covered EVERYTHING 100%, including IF treatments. So.. yeah. But, what can you do? He doesn't have that job any more, so we dont have that insurance any more. I'm depressed, because i have probably another 8 or 9 months before my meds expire (less for a few of them) and if we want to even think about a cycle, we have to get going with it. But.. not likely. So.. what do I do? =/ I'm trying very hard to be thankful and grateful for my daughter. and appreciate her. But with about 90% of every woman I know having a baby ever couple weeks (or so it feels), I just get more depressed. I torture myself by trying to see the babies and hold them. takin in their sweet smell and warmth.

It breaks my heart. Especially since my own daughter is super challenging right now. I think I will have more patience once we get in our own place.. its just so hard being in someone else's house. Even though they are super nice and super accomodating and really make it feel comfortable for us. It's just not our place.

Anyhow..That's my little post. I'm depressed. Trying not to be. I just want to get away. *sigh*